Following yesterday's Gallery post - Bond, I received a lot of feedback. People were very positive and left me some lovely comments and I received a couple of really sweet emails. The majority of people understand that long term relationships are not always a bed of roses. No person is perfect, conflicts are inevitable and problems will sometimes need to be dealt with. Difficulties in a relationship can either break you or make you stronger as a couple.
I'm not talking abuse. That's a whole other subject and one that I'm not qualified to discuss. I'm talking about everyday rows, money problems, work issues, family problems and even infidelity. Sometimes these things can mark the end of a once loving, happy relationship, but if confronted and worked through, you can begin to rebuild what you thought you had lost forever.
As I mentioned yesterday, Me and Hubby have had our fair share of marital problems. Sometimes it was his fault, and sometimes it was mine. We played equal parts in the breakdown of our marriage and neither one of us were to blame. The grief of losing my Mum, was just to much for the marriage to cope with at the time. I was so wrapped up in my own grief that I forgot that he was grieving too. He loved my Mum so much that he looked at her, as if she were his real Mum. You see, he didn't have a happy childhood and has never really felt that he was loved by his own parents. As a 16 year old boy, my Mum welcomed him into our family with open arms and she loved him as if he was one of her own boys. They were good friends.
I forgot. I was selfish and was so consumed by the pain of losing her, that I ignored the pain he was also feeling. This led to resentment and anger, which forced me to push him out. He cried as he left, the suffering evident in his eyes. I was in the wrong, but if it wasn't for our separation, we would not be as happy as we are now.
Our separation forced us to re-evaluate our lives and what we had become. We were obsessed with work, money and material things, so much so that our lives had become detached from one another. We had simply drifted apart and had become unhappily married.
These days life is very different for us. We are crazy in love all over again. We appreciate every day we have together. We still bicker occasionally, but I now stop and remember all the lovely things he does for me. How he brings me coffee in bed, cooks me delicious meals, works hard to support me, and how his main goal in life is to make me happy. I thank my lucky stars every day.
If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.
You shield it and protect it.
You never abuse it.
You don’t expose it to the elements.
You don’t make it common or ordinary.
If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new.
It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.
- F. Burton Howard